Nuturing a Loving Relationship with Time

Most of us experience a conflicting relationship with time. Time continues to be both the adversary and the giver of great gifts. As the world speeds up, our relationship with time becomes more conflicted–especially as we grow older, especially if we are caregivers and people who have lived experience with disability. 

Many of us operated in a different time continuum, including Mikelle, her team, and me. Older folks and young parents have a similar relationship with time. Often, we wish for more hours in the day, and everyone moves faster than we can keep up. Going to the restroom takes only a few minutes;  for us, it takes twenty. Eating on the run is impossible. It is possible to take over an hour to eat breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee.

I value time more and more, no matter how it changes or speeds up. 

Last month, we spoke about adopting a simpler, more Mediterranean lifestyle. We are barely into our third week of this new focus, but we see an emerging trend. Boundaries and time have a unique correlation.

Loving Time: A Dance with the Present:

Have you ever noticed how boundaries and time seem to have a special relationship? It’s like they’re two sides of the same coin. Let’s dive a little deeper into this fascinating correlation!

Saying no creates time, while saying yes too often reduces time. This understanding points us toward knowing what is essential and what we value, setting up our priorities, and understanding the limits of our available time.  

As Mikelle and I grow older, we no longer need to prove ourselves and reach lofty goals. We now could grow while enjoying the moments we have each day. 

Growth and Learning:

Loving time rather than demonizing it allows Mikelle and time to view challenges not as obstacles but as stepping stones to an even better life. The secret sauce here is enough time to reflect on the current situation, brainstorm, and create new pathways to better solutions.

Demonizing Time: The Weight of Regret and Anxiety:

Let’s face it. We have all said, “I don’t have time to do that .” There could be several reasons why we default to this infamous saying. Perhaps our parents told us that when we asked them to play with us. Or it was an excuse not to talk about an extra project at work or a convenient excuse not to go out with friends when we needed some downtime. Regardless, it has become part of the cultural vernacular. 

We must ask ourselves why we demonize time and precisely what we are doing now. Our new question is, “How does demonizing time serve us? 

If we find ourselves, which we do from time to time, worrying about the future and the unknown, we can cast a shadow on our experiences today, diluting them into nothing all that special. In effect, we are stealing our happiness by worrying about insufficient time. 

This mindset can contribute to stress, burnout, and a sense of unfulfillment and emptiness–even depression.


In the grand mosaic of our lives, we are both the artist and the canvas as we choose the color and shadows of our life experiences. We tell the story, and we paint our picture depending on our point of view. Do we love time or demonize it? In the spaces in between, we find the essence of life and craft our masterpieces regardless of our circumstances.